Hockwold, West of Weeting!

There are all kind of blogs, serious ones, funny ones, weird ones and others.  You decide where mine sits because I know the moment I label it as either one thing or another someone will say "That's not right!"

Dogs

Small mindedness is one of the reasons why I am no longer on facebook, I once got embroiled in an argument over whether or not dog licences should be brought back.

One individual, (they won't be reading this as it has too many long words in it) said that if they had to pay the dog licence they wouldn't be able to keep their dogs.

Now, I'm not one to judge, but this particular person had 4 dogs, wasn't working out of choice as it wasn't worth it because they got as much on jobseekers anyway.

Anyway, I digress, they said that paying a licence wouldn't make them a better dog owner, yep I agree with that, but this was at a time when the government (god bless 'em) were concerned about the number of uncontrollable dogs and irresponsible dog owners that were about.

I commented that if there was register and dogs were licenced it would, in theory, mean that anyone who had been convicted or reported for having an uncontrolled dogs was more easily prevented from having a dog in future.

I received a stream of abuse, all of it spelt badder than enyfing I cud of writ, so I just pointed it out, the spelling that is and added that they were arguing their point incorrectly and with people who could actually read and write.

They took it rather badly.

Anyway my point is, that people who don't really have the ability to see things from others  points of view (i.e. Mine) should butt out.

It reminded me how annoying people who think they know everything are to those of us who do!

In a list of such people and other numpties I would like to include a certain individual who posted a recipe for making your own Dulce de Leche (thickened condensed milk) from (unthickened) condensed milk in a microwave. You know who you are!

An Argentinian biscuit

I was making some Argentinian biscuits for Little Nany Mero with a Dulce de Leche filling, however when I opened the jar of ready made Dulce de Keche it was a tad mouldy, well more than just a tad, it was many, many tads!

So with the help of Google, I found the answer to my prayers, Dulce de Leche in 15 minutes in the microwave!!!!!

It was simple the author said, cook it two minutes at a time on medium, give it a stir and when it reaches the thickness you require stop cooking, simples!

In fact its so simple the author went on to say "I do my chores whilst its cooking".

NO YOU DON'T YOU LYING MARE!!!

You are lying, because you know that turn your back on this baby for more than 8 seconds while its cooking and you will be cleaning the kitchen for a month!

Your microwave will have gone into meltdown and will be heading towards the earths core.

Close the microwave door dammit!

It erupts out of the bowl like you would not believe, forget  'The Blob', forget Mount Etna or 'Krakatoa, East of Java' this was 'Hockwold, West of Weeting'!

I re-read the instructions again, 'place a piece of clingfilm over the bowl but remember to leave a small vent for steam to escape.

Oh yeah like putting a bit of clingfilm on the top and leaving a little vent like the numpty says is going to make a difference.

That's not going to stop it, a pressure cooker lid with a brick on top won't stop it!

(For the benefit of any illiterate dog owners reading this, it is not advisable to place a metal pressure cooker lid or any other metal object in a microwave, thank you)

We have no Dulce de Leche program

In fact, thinking on a bigger scale for a moment, I would say this to President Obama and David Cameron, if I were you fellas, I would be more concerned if Iran (left) were making Dulce de Leche from condensed milk rather than enriching plutonium.

Have you even thought to ask your intelligence guys to see how much condensed milk they import? No, I bet you haven't!

Go on, do it now, go on!

Little Nanny Mero

Anyway, and far more importantly, Little Nanny Mero was 70 on Monday hence the biscuits, so on Sunday we had a little family get together for her.

Here we are!

Luke and Kirsty came home and we hid them away so that Little Nanny Mero wouldn't see them when she arrived, then as she was taking her coat off they knocked at the door.

It was very emotional and truly lovely.

But, and you knew there would be a but, when Nanny Southwellski and Little Nanny Mero arrived home, Luke and Kirsty ran to hide, except Luke went the wrong way and would have been trapped in the bedroom, bless him, whatever would he have done had he not been benefiting from a University education?


Today, Thursday, we went to Melsop Farm Park, near Scoulton in the heart of Norfolk.  I will say one thing about it before describing our day.  If you haven't been yet, go!

I'm there too!

It's a small park but with lots to see, including Kune Kune pigs, ducks of all varieties, geese, chickens, reindeer, wallabies, sheep, goats and much more.

We arrived around lunchtime and meandered through the animal bits letting Coco lead the way and met donkeys, peacocks and were joined for most of our wanderings by two turkeys!

It wasn't too busy, I had expected hoards of unruly kids on half term holidays but there were only a couple of brats so it was quite tolerable.

It was rather amusing, and made me very proud to watch Coco wandering quite confidently past the geese, chickens, turkeys and stroking the sheep and goats and then seeing the other children (I want to say little 'barbie' dolls and 'little princes' but this may offend some people so I won't) squealing whenever an animals as much as glanced in their direction.

What's the matter with you parents?  Get the kids outside and get them down and dirty with nature and give them the choice about becoming 'mini me's' when they're old enough to choose for themselves.

The food was good, we all had sausage and chips and at £4 for an adult and £3 for children I thought it was good value.  The £7 entry per adult was reasonable too I thought, Coco was free.

We spent a good while in the indoor play area (that's where the rude kids were) and Coco had a blast riding on the tractors and running down the slope from the party room into the play area.

We have lift off, now tuck your head in and roll.....

Then it was outside where Nanny Southwellski gave Coco her first trampolining lesson.

I thought it went rather well, but Nanny Southwellski was a little concerned it was a bit much for a first lesson.

Now, before any of you doubters get on the phone to Children's Services here's our little flying daredevil (below) safe and sound and quite happy moments after her first space walk.

Okay, what's next Nanny?

Anyway, after her time on the trampoline was up I thought it best to let her run off the adrenaline on the other play equipment nearby.

Nanny Southwellski that is, not Coco.

Then it was back to the car and home and Coco was asleep before we got back to the main road bless her.

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

Would we go back to Melsop?

Absolutely, if only to let Nanny have another play on the climbing frame, which incidentally states quite clearly that it is suitable for up children up to 15 years old. 

But, as Nanny Southwellski rightly says, there are 15 years olds who are a lot bigger than her.

I can't argue with that.